March 2013
3 posts
2 tags
I Am Enough: On Self-Validation and Refusing to...
I’ve always set goals aggressively. By the time I was 12, I had a meticulous plan to get into the college of my dreams and go on to immediate, phenomenal success in my chosen career field. But the time I was old enough to drink, I discovered sometimes your plans aren’t worth the moleskin notebook your scratched them in. Life happens. Priorities change. Desires wane
I never planned my...
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Unwelcome Opinions: Why Do Men Feel Entitled to...
Against my better judgement, last night I watched Bravo’s “Fashion Queens.” Let’s begin by saying the show is a train wreck. Bravo’s Andy Cohen loves to trot caricatures of Black gay culture for his amusement, and this show was no exception. I might have been able to overlook the fact that this show clearly sprung from a privileged white man’s hood fantasies had...
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Celebrities Won't Save Feminism So Leave Beyonce...
Lovers of a quality pop music spectacle can breathe a sigh of relief because the preeminent entertainer of her generation has reemerged on the world’s stage. What I have pre-emptively termed The Year of Beyoncé began with the singer in her underwear on the February cover of GQ Magazine. It continued with an almost perfectly executed Super Bowl halftime show, and in just a few days, she’ll give us...
January 2013
4 posts
4 tags
Death to the Online Petition
They never should have given y’all online petitions. In recent weeks, my annoyance with certain digital organizing tactics has reached its peak. These petitions, in particular facilitate offline victories, but now they also symbolize faux activism. Signing and circulating online petitions about every real or imagined indignity reflects the entitlement of the Internet Era. Everyone has a...
5 tags
Beauty and Butt Shots: Black Women Battle for Body...
After I read this blog post from a woman who regrets the $700 butt shots she received, I couldn’t help but think through my own journey to body acceptance. The blog post reminded me that in recent years, black folks have been our own worst enemy in perpetuating body image issues among black women and girls. In our efforts to defy white supremacy, we adopted an equally unattainable...
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Deeper Than Reality TV: It's Not About a Rapper or...
I took a long time to assemble my thoughts on Shawty Lo’s new show and the outrage it’s inspired primarily because I was deeply conflicted. Shawty Lo’s recklessness is indefensible. I have no desire to defend the show or its right to be on the air. I don’t believe that the arrangement the rapper has with his 10 children’s mothers and 11 children is a justifiable...
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Who Will Defend A Black Woman?: Rhonda Lee and the...
Meteorologist Rhonda Lee was terminated from her position at a Shreveport, Louisiana television station for responding to a viewer’s insensitive comments about her hair on Facebook. Here are details of the exchange.
On Oct. 1, a viewer identified as Emmitt Vascocu wrote, “the black lady that does the news is a very nice lady.the only thing is she needs to wear a wig or grow some...
December 2012
3 posts
3 tags
A New Model For Black Motherhood: Why We Need More...
Last week, Jada Pinkett-Smith posted an open letter on Facebook about her choice to allow her daughter Willow to make some controversial decisions about her personal appearances. Jada wrote:
The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women,girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies...
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On D.L. Hughley and Others: My Official Withdrawal...
I grew up, like so many Black children of upwardly mobile parents, precariously situated between two worlds. Both Black and white women raised me. They were generous and loving, kind and brilliant. But as a kid, I sensed something different about the Black women in my life. They carried — what I can only describe as — a heaviness. The load wasn’t self-pitying sadness but...
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An Open Letter To Zoe Saldana: On The Hollywood...
Dear Zoe,
Before I begin, please know that the majority of my disgust is reserved for Cynthia Mort and Jimmy Iovine. They hold primary responsibility for your casting in the upcoming film “Nina,” and that choice symbolizes the utter disregard the film industry has shown for telling the stories of Black women faithfully.
But you’re a grown woman, Zoe, and you made the decision...
October 2012
1 post
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Why We Shouldn't Pretend Dolce & Gabbana's...
What’s a girl who loves fashion but hates the industry to do? Racism is fashion’s constant companion, and the pair won’t soon separate. It seems every season a major designer must be chastised for exploiting “exotic” prints and images or excluding models color. And every season these designers attempt to justify their bigoted missteps as byproducts of the artistry....
September 2012
2 posts
3 tags
Michelle Obama Feminism: For Black Women With...
No one can take feminism from women of the African diaspora. It is a black woman’s birthright because we could never seek solace in the protections of womanhood narrowly defined. It is ours, yet it seems at every turn, someone is trying to wrestle it from us. Since her appearance at this year’s Democratic National Convention, Michelle Obama has again been placed at the center of an...
4 tags
Why Would I Want To Be A Lady?
I’m not a lady. The fact causes me no distress. I’m too vulgar and assertive to ever be classified as such. My hemlines too short, clothes too tight, and language too crass. And my demeanor is not at all demure. Still somehow I manage to live a joyful, fulfilling life without the distinction. I do, however, aspire to be kind, genuine, loving and thoughtful. Ladies embody those things,...
August 2012
1 post
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Black Girl Hate: Struggling For Sisterhood
I did not discover the transformative power of sisterhood until I entered college. There I found a group of Black women in whom I could confide and depend. Knowing them centered me in my own womanhood. I saw myself in their gorgeous reflections and their radiant power. They were smart, funny, and fly. I was because they were. My sisters. My soulmates.
These women opened up my heart with love...
July 2012
4 posts
3 tags
Storytelling Saves Lives or Why I Blog
As a kid, I often felt voiceless. I didn’t grow up in one of those TV drama homes where we discussed our feelings. I’ve always been opinionated, but I, like many Black women, was taught to turn emotional affairs inward. Subsequently, I became a great actress and fooled most everyone I encountered for the majority of my life. And then my house of cards came tumbling down during my third...
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The Beauty of Self-Preservation: Learning When To...
I watch way too much reality tv. It’s addictive and usually corrosive, but believe it or not the snapshot glimpses into the lives of people I don’t know and will probably never meet often inspire me to self-reflect.
Watching Tashera Simmons, the estranged wife of DMX, on VH1’s Couple’s Therapy made me rethink my entire approach to relationships. Tashera’s distress...
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Finding The Beauty in Baby Steps
I am 23 years old, and some days I feel utterly unaccomplished. I remind myself that I am young, and, barring a catastrophe, I have decades left on this planet to create something remarkable. I take time everyday to appreciate the space I occupy. But even though I know my anxiety borders on the absurd, I can’t help but think I should be doing more. What about the 23 year olds who’ve written books,...
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Dear America, Black People Have A Right To Be...
If something scares mainstream America more than the anger of People of Color, I can’t name it. Every Black public figure looking to garner acceptance by the White majority must steer away from criticizing too harshly the blatant inequality of the US; lest they be painted an enemy of the State. And as we navigate our daily lives, African Americans avoid voicing our discontent in mixed company for...
April 2012
1 post
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To Serve and Protect Whom?
I want to trust the police. Actually I need to trust the police. But right now I don’t. As a single woman of small stature I know there may likely come a time when I make an emergency call, and when the officers come I want to be sure of the fact that the men or women commissioned to protect me are going to do so. But my faith in law enforcement is at an all-time low.
These feelings have...
March 2012
4 posts
3 tags
Wendy Williams Is Wrong, But You Are Too
When Wendy Williams made a comment about Viola Davis’ natural hair not being “glamorous” or “formal” enough for the Academy Awards on her daytime talk show, I was horrified but not surprised. You’d hear countless Black women echo the same sentiments just about anywhere you go. These women are generally projecting the hurt they’ve internalized since...
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Listen To Me Talk Black Women and Social Media on... →
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Black Women Should Come Out of Hiding In Honor of...
I knew this was going to happen. As soon as I got word that Viola Davis, Goddess of the Universe, walked the Academy Awards red carpet without her signature wig, I was positive we would see article after article about the politics of her choice. And we have. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. The actress made a bold decision. A decision, that I couldn’t be prouder of because of what...
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Dear Viola: We Don't Hate The Player, We Just...
Let’s get this out of the way. I adore Viola Davis. I adore her gravitas, intellect and fearlessness, but above all, I adore her prodigious talent. For her merits, Davis deserves to be named alongside screen legends like Meryl Streep and Robert DeNiro. But alas the black, female body she inhabits prevents her from reaching the professional heights she so deserves. Ms. Davis as a radiant, 46...
February 2012
6 posts
3 tags
I Wish I Could Be So Naive: A Response to @Daisy...
Only recently have I come to appreciate my quiet, suburban upbringing. My single mother worked tirelessly to provide her kids a safe, secure childhood unlike the one she’d known. The choice to live in affluent, predominately white communities was mom’s attempt to help my sister and I overcome the trappings of life in black, female bodies. But of course she couldn’t shield us...
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Black Feminist Contradictions: We All Got 'Em
There will always be debate about what defines a feminist. While conservative women like Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann attempt to misappropriate the term and negate its progressive origins, Black women struggle to embrace it and see our place within the movement.
Feminism (or Womanisn if you please) is a Black woman’s birthright. We had no choice but to question the racist, sexist power...
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A Message to Black Folks: Don't Get Mad, Get GLAAD
The past week has been an important one for digital advocacy. In a matter of days, two major organizations, Susan G. Komen for the Cure and CNN, were forced into decisive action by the feminist and LGBT communities respectively. Supporters used Twitter, Facebook, blogs and message boards to rally their proverbial troops. Proving, once again, that the power lies with the people, and when we choose...
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UnPretty: My Personal Battle With Vanity and...
At what point does something you enjoy become a source of your own imprisonment? We classify many things as addictions, but not until recently did I ever consider I might be battling one of my own.
I am a daughter of consumerism. As a quintessential girly girl, I love clothes, makeup, and hair. (Yep, I buy my hair, and I whip it back and forth with pleasure.)
Hoarding these things has been a...
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Invisible Chains: Unlearning My Mother's Wisdom
Through the years it has been corporatized and commodified, but Black History Month is a time for self-reflection and meditation. A time to remember those men and women whose boldness and bravery left a mark on our collective consciousness. A time where individually each of us must take stock of our talents and think about what we will do to lift as we climb.
While we celebrate the trailblazers,...
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Does BET's 'The Game' Hate Black Women?
It’s been over a year since The Game returned to television, and the comeback has been rocky. The story arcs lack depth and the dialogue lacks wit. But those missteps might have been forgiven had the show preserved the integrity of the characters we grew to love so much that we, the viewers, petitioned for months to revive. Not only did that not happen, but since it’s return, The...
January 2012
2 posts
2 tags
There's Nothing Wrong With Being A 'Foul-Mouthed...
I am a foul-mouthed woman. Despite the fact that I did not grow up in a home where swearing was encouraged—or even tolerated—once I got to be about 13, my friends would be hard pressed to hear me in conversation without dropping the f-bomb or the s-word. (I say friends because I was diligent about refraining from the language in front of my elders lest my mom come down on me with her...
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A Domestic Dream: Re-imagining Black Motherhood
The seeds of my feminism were planted early. Women predominate my childhood memories. And not just any women: strong, Black women. Sisters who did it for themselves. The kind of women Lil Boosie writes songs about (I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T). These women instilled in me the value of self-sufficiency and hard work. They taught me what it meant to navigate the world as a Black woman in a racist, sexist...
December 2011
3 posts
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Lemme Hold $5: Why Black Women Continually Come Up...
Black women do not save. That is, of course, unsurprising considering the American culture of consumption has transformed into a culture of debt [1]. But it just so happens that structural racism has made partaking in this culture all the more costly for Black communities.
A few weeks ago, the Post Gazette featured a study that explored into the racial wealth gap in the United States. This time,...
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Please! Black Men Are Not Marginalized On The...
Let’s be honest, Women run the Black blogosphere. Though the overall ratio of men to women who read and write blogs is roughly the same, these demographic trends don’t seem to hold for black writers and readership. And I wouldn’t call that a bad thing. The Digital Sisterhood demonstrates that after centuries of being relegated to the margins, Black women are eager to explore ourselves and learn...
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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?
Every morning it gets more difficult. Crawling out of bed to prepare myself for eight hours of tedious, unfulfilling work saps me of my emotional energy before the day has really begun. With eyes still heavy from the previous night’s cry-fest, I attempt to make myself presentable. The routine has not changed in months, but on this day, something is different. I’ve relied on faith and determination...
